Reality Show my foot!

Had heard so much about this show called The Moment of Truth. Finally got around watching it recently for the first time on YouTube. (Ok I reach late everywhere). And I was aghast! I was stunned at the kind of questions that were asked. Money does attract people but you can not finish them in the name of entertainment. Some understand the consequences only when they face them. Reality shows are entertaining but there needs to be a limit to everything. Money has this tantalizing effect on people but well this is something else. Everyone has secrets, who doesn’t?

But washing someone’s dirty laundry in public in the name of entertainment and luring participation offering some small money (which most of the times they are unable to bag – and mind you it IS small for the price one has to pay later) is criminal. I think the episode I watched was one that made maximum news, where they successfully put a “The End” to a woman’s not so bad if not a super exciting married life. She clearly did not understand the repercussions while playing the game. And as the game unfolded, her winning kept getting higher, but her loss was worsening with every question. After a point, she perhaps got immune, and she just wanted to blurt out all the truth because “there was nothing left to hide any more”. And then comes a killer question – Do you think you are a good person? Now, what kind of question is this! As simple as it may look, it is not a mere Yes or No kind of question. It is not Black or White kind of question. There will be conflicts in the mind of a person who has led a life the way she has. And she comes up with a Yes. But the intelligent detector does not think she has given the right answer. And here she is, confessing to just everything, on national television, blowing up her marriage, bowing to an Ex (who I am sure will be on a high with the whole world knowing he is so sought after), and going back with NOTHING!

What’s life shattering for one is entertaining for others. And I am not talking about morality and things, am just talking about a behavior here. Someone’s life is getting ruined with so much drama, a TV channel presents to us as entertainment, making some big money out of it, and we do not mind taking a peak in someone’s life at all. Hell we love our gossip sessions. Who needs a kaamwaali bai to give some fresh masala for our unabashed ears and blatant mouths? We get our gossip quota direct from TV. No effort required. Served on a platter.

I did sit through the entire episode, and then was thinking of going for the second one. But I am glad I decided not to. Thankfully conscience decided to wake up.

Move on?

She was curled up like a ball in her bed. It was eleven in the morning. It wasn’t a weekend either. But she had no desire and no strength to get up. He finally walked out on her. She had never imagined he would do that. He always had love in her eyes when they were together. He was the mushy one in the relationship. He was the one who brought up discussions like names of their kids in conversations. He was the one who would come up with the plan of their dream house every now and then and get dreamy eyes about it too. He made the rule of he cooking for her once a week at least after they were married. And he made the rule of one vacation a year where he would break her phone in two if she used it at all. He was the more emotional one when she was leaving for this four months course, ofcourse to come back as soon as it got over. She felt everything and more, never could express it, never felt the need to, and loved it when he did. Her eyes carried appreciation for him and she knew he understood that. But she was gone for just four months when he changed his mind. In the pretext of – you deserve some one better than me. hunh! Friends had warned her about him. But he convinced her that he was genuine. He looked genuine. He loved her. She felt it. She hated herself for feeling love in this relationship when there wasn’t any. She had set some values for herself. She shouldn’t have overlooked those. A drop silently escaped her eye and rolled down. She had never imagined this. He was a master. He got all he wanted. Use and throw. She felt uneasy in her feet. She knew he used her. She didn’t know when she was using her, all was love, all was good. People say move on. Can she ever? Easier said than done. Really. She can not reverse the time. She wanted to kill him. How could he do it? How could he just crush her this way? She was filled with rage. Friends are now saying move on. Had it been this easy. Had it been a sheet written on with a pencil that she could erase all the marks.

Lean on me..

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain

We all have sorrow

But if we are wise

We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride

If I have things you need to borrow

For no one can fill those of your needs

That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear

That you can't carry

I'm right up the road

I'll share your load

If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you'd understand

We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

Till I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...

Questions?

Questions buried in the deep abyss

Answers float freely on the shore

What good are answers my friend

If you are unaware of the questions they answer.

In younger days, as a student, I used to try and read the entire book before the exam. In a nervous attempt to do so, sometimes I used to skip the titles. So I knew the answers but I did not sometimes know the questions they answered. Things have not changed much.

I still do not know the questions.

Yaad aayeinge yeh pal..!

My feet felt suffocated. My legs felt hung without support. I was restless in my sleep. I knew something was odd but could not place what. And then suddenly they breathed. They were freed from that predicament. And then there was a tap on my shoulder, after which my leg felt rested too. And my soul finally was at peace.

A busy intersection in Bangalore. An ocean of people all around. I grunted, grrrrr-ed and turned around, to pace ahead, and more importantly AWAY. But then I felt a tug on my jacket. A further tug on me. My head was tempted beyond imagination to lose cool.

Some not so memorable days, when there was that one extra sound in my throat, and one extra pulse in the heart. When back ached to get rid of that pulse. Some warmth was endowed and then after a brief trance, everything seemed much better. And hence this isn’t so bad a memory finally.

Together everywhere, package deal, buy one get one free. Who ever invited one, had to invite the other. Poor inviters! Were stuck.

Sharing is joy. It was indeed. Fighting is fun. It was indeed. Every equation, every relationship has to stand a test of time. And it did, indeed. After being coined as Tom and Jerry of the class, ignoring each other on many days out of the many many days we stayed together, howling and screaming, and exceeding each other’s expectations in putting a drama while fighting, but pouncing on and ripping on just about anybody who tried to step in to resolve issues, friendship matured and was proven.

The one who removed my shoes and tapped my shoulder to make me realize my hanging legs can be put on bed on those crazy days of work. The one I fought with at a busy intersection in Bangalore, and then she pulled me to fight further when I was trying to pull away – and this time I didn’t pull away. Always ready to give me the healing touch (she knows Reiki, and is good at it) on the days my breathing hurt. My room-mate for five years, and my friend for life, is embarking on a new journey towards being someone else’s room-mate for lifetime. And I am not jealous, not complaining!

Wishing you two a beautiful life full of glee and bliss!

Love always!

What's in a name anyway!

Something really wrong today. Have been working with a gentleman who owns a business we support for the last 12 months. His name is Tony. I usually don’t get to see him too often. Usually it is limited to phone calls and emails. But I had to meet him today. Pleading to give me more business. And what do I do. I keep calling him Tom all through. And every time I call him Tom, I realize, apologize, and correct myself. Now I have a reason if he does not give business to me. Anyway, a little while later, I meet a guy in the hallway whose name is Anuj. I know for over a year now that his name is Anuj. And I have always called him Anuj. Upon meeting him this afternoon, I go hey Anshul, how are you! And keep walking. The next second I realize my mistake but I just keep walking hoping he wouldn’t have heard me. This is a little unlikely though. There is a limit to embarrassment but guess not sometimes. If this was not enough already here is the final one. I am working, and i get a call from someone called Dawn. I saw her name flashing. And guess how I answer this call - Dawn speaking!

I guess I should go home now.

Old is Gold..!

nostalgic snapshots in b-n-w, sway as they hum

holding on to some and losing out on some

funny feeling in the gut, strange and unclear

seems objects in rear-view mirror are closer than they appear