Thursday, January 25, 2007

Gera Gera Gera..!!

The way to college used to be fun, but it lacked the luxury of idling off wherever and whenever we wanted. And for this one reason way back home used to be lot more fun. I can actually count the number of days in entire three years of BIT when I reached home within an hour or so of leaving college. We, that is, I and Rhea, followed the Unit Testing rule between home and college. College being the source, home being the sink, we traversed all possible paths in between. Short of cash every single day, nothing stopped us from window shopping at least which was fun, and exploring more places for cheapest browsing rates. But halt or no halt, there was a continuous chat going on every morning and evening which covered every topic under the sun. We were never short of topics.
I have always considered Rhea a very good listener, I know she has always paid an eager ear to me, and commented, debated, suggested, seconded whatever required whenever required. But there was a patch of almost 8-10 days when I started getting a feeling that she was not listening to me at all for about twenty seconds every day on our way back. Initially I didn’t realize but when the frequency was so high, that is everyday, though only for may be a few seconds, I could not avoid noticing it. It became even more evident because it happened not only when she was listening, this also happened while she was the one talking and I was listening. This was weird. But this was happening. I thought I will ask her, but it looked too trivial too be brought up, moreover I was not taking it too seriously also. Happens! Things took a different turn when I made another related observation. It was happening everyday at the same place, five-six yards before the Sujata chowk. I agree it was weird but now I was curious and wanted to get to the bottom of this. Anu Bond at work!!
Well, to be honest, I didn’t spend any brain over this, and didn’t remember anything like this until we started back home the next day. It started as a usual ride, but I got reminded of this at almost half a kilometer before the place. I was conscious, and obviously Rhea wasn’t. We continued talking and the moment we reached that place, I turned to see what caught Rhea’s interest at this place everyday. When I turned while riding, the site was incredible, Rhea’s eyes were transfixed inside a medical store, and the way she was sitting, it looked like she was about to jump, probably she was trying to reach as close as possible to the store while still being on the seat. I quickly turned to look inside the shop now. There was the best-looking guy we had seen in the city so far, standing there. He was standing on the other side, so he must be the owner or somebody. He didn’t look hired so must be the owner. “Caught you lady!!” was my immediate reaction. Rhea was startled. She didn’t expect me to turn around like this. Well not that the biggest secret of her life was out or something very embarrassing, but she still attempted to shoo it away. But Anu Bond just refused to buy any excuse, or let it go. She finally said there was nothing fishy and all, just that she found his face familiar. And not only that, she also somehow had this weird feeling that his name was “Ashwin”. What crap was that!! .. and Sridevi recognized Rishi Kapoor by the song he sang in their next incarnation..!! “Rhea this happens only in movies”. “Or do you think someone mentioned him..”. No she said. She was confident that nobody has ever told her anything about this guy, but she still had this confident feeling that this guy was called Ashwin. Now this was funny, I refused to believe this and she refused to lose her confidence over this. Finally it ended up in a bet. Since I refused to buy this story, I challenged her that I will prove his name was not Ashwin. How – no idea.. When – very soon!!
Next day I repeated this story in front of Shweta. She laughed silly at this stupid story. She was supporting me, but Rhea still stood by her story. Though confusion was evident on her face. Anyway bet was on, and may the better belief win.
It was almost three days to this episode when I had to buy mummy’s medicines. Mummy was not keeping well those days, and hence for the past couple of days we were not following our usual routine after college. That is we were not going to Shweta’s place for lunch, and rest and the 4 o’clock tea. This was the most apt day for execution of Mission Ashwin. This day we decided that Rhea will not come along. I faintly remember she perhaps went to her Dadi Ma’s place from college. On the way I had to stop for medicines at our “Ashwin’s” shop. As I neared the place I wasn’t sure if I wanted to try that. After all I was anyway winning, I could just go next day and tell her she lost the bet and his name is not Ashwin. But by now there was some, though very minuscule, but some bit of curiosity in my head as well.
Ok, so I stopped at "the" medical store in town. I had a prescription, so my presence there didn't look and was not out of purpose.. I mean a real purpose. I handed over my prescription to him, and started thinking how to ask him. I decided in order to prove myself correct, easier would be to prove Rhea wrong. I mean asking his name didn’t sound very good. He billed the medicines and I offered some cash. I had to collect some money back and as he extracted some change from his cash drawer I mustered all the courage in the world I could and asked him the question – “By any chance are you Ashwin”? aaaha.. over finally, the most difficult part was done with. Now, I just had to wait for whatever he says and walk out. Anyway, he indeed was good-looking, can’t blame Rhea for staring at least!! J But what happened the very next moment was something I had not expected in my wildest imaginations, and was definitely not prepared for. He replied, “Jee haan Ashwin. Aap mujhe kaise jaante ho.” Whattttttt!!!!!! Suddenly I felt like me cheeks were on fire and the flames were reaching my ears. I was shocked, shaken and tongue-tied. I had no clue what to say. ..errr.. ya.. JP Singh Uncle mentioned this name once saying that you people are on good terms, but I was not sure which medical store did he talk about.
Ashwin: Who? JP Singh Uncle?..
Anu: .. (dude even I have no idea who this JP Singh Uncle is.. let me go..) .. err.. CMPDI Colony..
Ashwin: hmmm..may be shakal se jaanta hunga, naam se I am unable to place him I am sorry..
Anu: o that’s alright! Ok thanks.
I hurried out of the store and zoomed off from there. I could feel my heart thumping. His words were still echoing in my mind. Man! What an experience..phooh..! And where was Rhea? I wanted to murder her that very moment.
I reached home and looked for the first opportunity when Mum was not around. I wanted to call up Shweta, and I did. She was surprised, shocked and next guess what! .. in splits. Don’t laugh please, it sounded unpleasant then. Ok, she got back her seriousness after a while, and we discussed this some more. What Rhea was saying was impossible. But then what was the big mystery????
I went to Rhea’s place in the evening when she was back and narrated the whole incident. I could not keep it for the next day. She had a question mark written on her face all the time I talked. I was extremely annoyed, if nobody understood that. I mean what a fool I made of myself, he must have damn understood!! It was even more insulting being caught on the wrong foot in front of the best-looking boy in town I managed to start a conversation with. Shit!
Rhea was in the pause mode for a good two minutes after which she said believe me Anu, I have no idea where the hell did I get this feeling from. There was again a pause for two minutes after which she jumped, “wait a sec! I think I remember.. ya ya ya now I remember, Vikki told me about him..ya right.”
(Vikki: Rhea’s cousin who has a friend called Ashwin who has a medical store opposite to Vikki’s gift store.)

I wanted to kick Rhea, kill Rhea… why did you…how could you.. The voice continued to echo in my ears..

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Quotable Quote

Read somewhere:

"People who read others' diary deserve what they get."

Monday, January 22, 2007

Life is..

Beauty lies in thoughts
And moments make memories
The conviction of knowing it right
The apprehension of not being able to put it right
The fear of making it sound wrong
And the joy when things go as planned, and that’s a surprise
And they say it was easy
No doubt its ironical, but who cares
Once done, and somehow got it right
Who wants it to be undone to attain perfection?
After all it’s the imperfect things in life which are dearer
And more lovable
And more I can identify with it, with my own imperfections
Time is all powerful
Soon what was a gift becomes a part of life
And the greedy human in me wants more
Knowing what is mine was destined to be mine
And I want more..
The beauty slowly started unveiling itself
It was like the moon evolving
From the new moon day
To the full moon
But never a no moon day
And each time the moon bettered its beauty
But stayed calm like never before
And with its serenity divine
It enveloped me in the cool waters of the blessed rapid
Life is beautiful
With the crests and troughs
It perhaps wants to make me ready to face the world
And world perhaps is not fair always
So I am happy with my mug of coffee
And enjoying the hot cup for the excellent brew and a great taste
Sometimes slightly bitter but I love it that way
With its shades of white, grey and black
some joyful reds, some romantic pinks, some emotional blues
some fresh greens, some passionate ambers,
feminine violets, and macho metallics
life is a vibgyor, one shade here today
one shade there tomorrow
everyone has equal share of all the colors
I with all the differences, am no different
I will live my colors and continue to firmly believe

Life is beautiful..!!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Sometime in May 03

Away from home..!!
When I came back home after a fun-filled day at wase
saw my room neatly done, everything in place
Few things it sure lacked and few things it had
and the most precious in what was available was the touch of my mom-dad
Lump in my throat I fought the tears in my eyes
But that stupid thing grew bigger and still bigger in size.
And then rang the phone, I took their call
oh all efforts wasted, shucks! that was all,
No matter what i talked about, how hard i tried
I couldn't stop the flow dammit! yes I cried!
Mum-Pa I missed you then and I still do
this world's not even half as good away from you..
Its tight out here, no time to reflect on the past
day gets over so quick, life is real fast!
Tough it is here to move with the pace
all the time speeding in this ever-ending race.
But now i want it even faster, slow is a NO
so that four years roll by in a blink, and back i go...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Weird mood..weird day. a mix of good and neutral.. and i am usually fine as long as it is not bad :) I love my desktop wallpaper, and yes it is my creativity!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Then and Now..

I am not sure if this motivates me, does any good to my mood, or what it is, but I usually keep my desk decorated. There are some toys, bright and funny, some souvenirs collected from here an there, and there also is an article which talks about maturity. It has been on my desk for over two years now. It goes something like this:

What is Maturity?
Knowing myself.
Asking for help when I need it and acting on my own when I don’t.
Admitting when I’m wrong and making amends.
Accepting love from others, even if I’m having a tough time loving myself.
Recognizing that always I have choices, and taking responsibility for the ones I make.
Seeing that life is a blessing.
Having an opinion without insisting that others share it.
Forgiving myself and others.
Recognizing my shortcomings and my strengths.
Having the courage to live one day at a time.
Acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility.
Caring for people without having to take care of them.
Accepting that I’ll never be finished, I’ll always be a work-in-progress.

And there is a preamble on Jo’s desk which is called “As I mature”. More I read it more I tend to believe in it, and somewhere “What is Maturity?” is slowly being overwritten by “As I mature”.

As I Mature
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.

All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Reality Bites..

You never know what loneliness is until you feel it. It lives in crowd, it is found in your workplace where you are surrounded by 100 more, it is felt in a room full of people cracking PJs at the slightest hint. It is found in the big malls you roam around on escalators looking at people sharing togetherness, and not finding anyone to approve the outfit you just selected for yourself. You skip your meals because you don’t have company to go with, and you don’t want to barge in any group trying to adjust to the idiosyncrasies of people and laugh at silly jokes which hardly even qualify as jokes. A major chunk of Bangalore is away from home, away from loved ones, trying to at least make big bucks if not big otherwise in life and not happy with the outcome so far, losing friends at a rapid rate because you don't have time for them, you are too "busy". Reasons many or none, does not matter. A major chunk of Bangalore feels lonely.

Saturday, January 6, 2007

its a new world, its a new start..

its 07 here. years come and go, and people get drunk, dance till they drop and throw money in parties that dont deserve that much, all to mark the change of a year. this happens every year, but we never quite get used to it. chalo, i dont want to question people on this because the parties may not deserve that kind of expenditure, but people sure deserve to party real josh type for all the hard work they put in to earn those big bucks, many of them dont know how and where to spend them.. and still worse, they dont know they have a right to enjoy! if a party on 31st december looks like a mandatory occassion to let your hair down and shake a leg to the coolest hip-hops and the rocks that the dj plays, be it. hope this trend stays young forever.
5 days into the new year, what has changed. there was a whale of a change in the last month, but in these 5 days.. were you expecting a silly 'nothing' here. this definitely is not the answer. new semester for WASE starts today, they are attending their classes.. and we, 2002, are officially on leave on all the saturdays henceforth unless the organization is working on the weekend. do i see the foot of the rainbow..!